good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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