so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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