So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
