Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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