Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
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It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
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You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My vagina is officially offended.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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