Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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