We named our party play list daddy issues
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I AM VODKA MAN
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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