Duck Duck Cougar?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
