Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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