i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
