She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
