She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
