Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
