Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
