meet me or not, i'm out of control
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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