It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
