I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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