This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
