Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.

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  (561): I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone. http://tfl.nu/li7n
  Replies (10) Good night (2171) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?

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  (765): laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you? http://tfl.nu/4i1p
  Replies (41) Good night (946) Bad night (4184) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.

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  (707): Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo. http://tfl.nu/dtd1
  Replies (22) Good night (1160) Bad night (5279)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.

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  (612): Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment. http://tfl.nu/63yr
  Replies (11) Good night (3655) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table

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  (813): you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table http://tfl.nu/kgfj
  Replies (25) Good night (2112) Bad night (3818) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.

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  (323): Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle. http://tfl.nu/1g9t
  Replies (4) Good night (823) Bad night (3610) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about

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  (781): my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about http://tfl.nu/1vap
  Replies (27) Good night (1291) Bad night (6602)
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  (760): View more from California

  so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.

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  (760): so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig. http://tfl.nu/u35s
  Replies (12) Good night (1750) Bad night (4803) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point

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  (515): the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point http://tfl.nu/syrq
  Replies (10) Good night (6214) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?

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  (206): So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for? http://tfl.nu/tolv
  Replies (10) Good night (2025) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata

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  (719): im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata http://tfl.nu/j3vj
  Replies (8) Good night (3221) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  well now I have to

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  (405): I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home. (1-405): well now I have to http://tfl.nu/4hfb
  Replies (9) Good night (3633) Bad night (1638) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.

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  (925): She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard. http://tfl.nu/tszy
  Replies (17) Good night (4210) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?

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  (906): I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u? http://tfl.nu/ided
  Replies (4) Good night (1341) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours

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  (503): I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours http://tfl.nu/g0b7
  Replies (4) Good night (473) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt

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