I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize