Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor