Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  "Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.

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  (925): "Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God. http://tfl.nu/18zl
  Replies (23) Good night (1413) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high

  (954): View more from Florida

  Yeah, I don't like babies at all

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  (404): I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high (954): Yeah, I don't like babies at all http://tfl.nu/6jzu
  Replies (11) Good night (3296) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.

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  (913): My favorite part of our friendship is your tits. http://tfl.nu/3eyr
  Replies (19) Good night (4360) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck

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  (732): no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck http://tfl.nu/y61e
  Replies (35) Good night (1012) Bad night (6226)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it

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  (858): Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it http://tfl.nu/r7l5
  Replies (16) Good night (5348) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

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  (954): Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America. http://tfl.nu/l7qb
  Replies (11) Good night (3424) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.

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  (417): Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by. http://tfl.nu/hvbu
  Replies (14) Good night (3175) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.

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  (870): He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible. http://tfl.nu/mspa
  Replies (9) Good night (1321) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience

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  (401): it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience http://tfl.nu/4qkf
  Replies (11) Good night (487) Bad night (1598)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.

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  (702): Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom. http://tfl.nu/ihoh
  Replies (25) Good night (3191) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels

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  (204): God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels http://tfl.nu/dxhw
  Replies (12) Good night (1036) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.

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  (605): Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again. http://tfl.nu/g0yk
  Replies (5) Good night (1191) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.

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  (732): I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night. http://tfl.nu/l68a
  Replies (4) Good night (1185) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team

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  (434): mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team http://tfl.nu/khyn
  Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.

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  (61): Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive. http://tfl.nu/0qk3
  Replies (5) Good night (442) Bad night (232)

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