It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
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Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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