and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
