You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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