everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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