I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
