And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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