Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
