a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
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How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
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And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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