dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
