i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
