i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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