Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
