every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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