why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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