i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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