He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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