His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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