Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He told me they were just razor bumps!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize