Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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