what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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