FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
