Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
