I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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