I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
