hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
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Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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