reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
