Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
