can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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