i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
