No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
