i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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