I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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