That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
